When You Lose Yourself In Others, They Get To Keep A Piece Of You

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Thought Catalog

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It just happens, unnoticed. We lose ourselves in everything we touch, in everyone we encounter. You leave a piece of yourself in the places you visit. The bed of sand and alluring waves at night become a holder of the the secrets you’ve been holding for so long, the morning after. The thoughts now jotted down take away something inside you. It extracts tiny pricks from your head. You reveal your vulnerability or power through the words that come out from your mouth.

Little by little, you lose pieces of yourself but there’s nothing you have to worry about. You’re made to leave marks on the things you touch. It’s like carving your name on a branch when you were high. You forget about it for days but when you come back to that same old spot, a memory hits you and you suddenly remember how much of a…

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10 Signs You’re Falling For Your Casual Hookup

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10 Signs You’re Falling For Your Casual Hookup

Thought Catalog

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Getting back into the dating game after a breakup can be both exhausting and exciting. You know you’re not ready for a relationship, but you don’t really mind playing the field. In fact, you’re certain about what you want — casual drinks, casual hook ups…”casual” is suddenly a big word in your life. As long as you don’t cross that line, you’re fine in your rebound bubble. But what happens when someone comes along that makes you question your boundaries? Someone who makes you want to loosen the reigns a little. Is he just a rebound? A transition from emotional disaster? Or is he the real thing?

There are certain ways to tell you are falling fast and hard. You’ve been here before, but it’s funny how you forget what it feels like. Maybe because it’s different every time. Maybe because no guy before him has ever meant so much…

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On this DAY FORWARD…

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If I could sum up everything I am feeling right now, I would be telling a lie if I say I AM perfectly FINE.

Bullshit. And another one.

Life would teach you so many lessons, that’s true. The harder the lesson- the deeper the wound, one thing’s for sure, that moment would stay in your heart for a lifetime or so.

After quite some time, you wouldn’t feel anything at all. The pain you felt before would be a faded memory. The heartbreaking scenario would just be another story you can laugh about. But that incident changed you forever.

I decided to write this so I would have a self reminder that it’s okay. Everything’s gonna be all right. On this day forward.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs yesterday. If only I could, I would. I wanted to cry and get tired from crying. I wanted someone to be there when I am about to give up. But I chose to stay calm. I chose to be quiet. I chose not to let my sadness swallow me whole. I chose to be different for this moment.

On this day forward, I would stay away from the people who hurt me. I would be happy living my life without them. I would learn to smile even if it hurts so much. I guess I am good at that.

This time, I won’t let my guard down. And if I could, I would build up walls so that I won’t let my self suffer and get hurt again.

I will be contented in what I have, and be GRATEFUL.

I would learn to appreciate simple things, and all the things that are done by the people who truly cares.

I won’t let anything or anyone destroy me again.

On this day forward, I WILL NEVER LOOK BACK.

 

 

5 Things I Would Like To Tell My Future Love

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5 Things I Would Like To Tell My Future Love

Uhhh, makes me wanna fall inlove again. 🙂

Thought Catalog

1. Go on as many adventures as possible.

I hope you’re going everywhere and doing everything. Hang out with your friends. Travel a lot. See as much of the world as possible. Try as many exotic foods as you can. Climb mountains. Join Fun Runs. Go diving and skydiving. Explore this beautiful world. I hope you’re starting to check off items on your bucket list because one day, when we’re finally together, I would like to hear all about it. One day you will share all those stories with me, and maybe we’ll try to do them together too.

2. Find yourself.

I hope you’re taking time to get to know yourself. Take time analyzing what you really want to do in life. Love yourself and be strong for yourself. Some people enjoy being needed but I what I like is to be wanted. You are your own person and…

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“BRAVERY”

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Before she left for Singapore, I told her almost everything. My side of story. She said, “bravery, Ate Arie. At least nasabi mo sakanya, no regrets.”I wish I am as brave as her. I hope I have the courage to say everything in front of his face without a single tear dropping off my eyes. I am too afraid to speak yet I want to be heard. For the past few weeks, my mind is telling me not to talk to him. But then, I know I have to.

 

He held my hand and that almost took me by surprise.

It was two months ago. My legs and feet were oh-so-tired but I didn’t complain. I never liked walking but that was an exception. All I could think of was, I wanted to take this chance.

I never planned something like that. I am not yet ready to open a little bit of my heart to anyone. I know he’s uncertain too.

His eyes were like the rays of sun or probably like the stars that shine in the darkness of my life. When he talks, it seems like I just wanna close my eyes and listen to him. And his laughs, his laughs aren’t music to my ears. Maybe more than that. His laughs always bring me back to my childhood days. No worries. No problems. Like there’s no tomorrow and you just got to live that day.

Sometimes, I feel like I am seeing myself in him. He’s like my boy version. Completely surreal, huh? Yes.

As days go by, I almost believed that something more could happen. It was like a magical thing that made my mornings brighter and made me want to sleep early for I know he’s going to be the first and last person that would appear in my screen fone.

We held hands. Talked like best of friends, like we’ve known each other forever. Shared stories like lovers. Held hands. Exchanged warm hugs. Laughed like childhood playmates. Held hands.

He made me realize that not all men are the same. Because he was different- he showed me something that I haven’t seen in all my failed relationships- RESPECT.

But after those him-putting-a-huge-smile-on-my-face-days,I didn’t expect that the feeling of forever would end so soon…

I wanted to get mad. I wanted to ask him several things that keep running in my mind. But at the end of the day, I would always find myself crying instead. I am too afraid.

I almost lost faith in him. But every moment I feel like giving up, I am reminded of his sincerity. His words. His care and concerns. I am reminded of the unsure feelings I know he has for me. Maybe that’s enough for me to believe.

I am trying so hard to not think about him. But many times, I failed. Woke up earlier than usual, work my ass like hell, just to forget everything. I couldn’t tell anyone how hard it is for me to fake a smile. At times, I just wanted to cry. I couldn’t show to everyone else how hurt I am because I don’t want them to know how terrible I feel. I feel sorry for myself for always wanting things that I could never have. I feel sorry cause he never gave an explanation. I feel sorry for being treated like this.

I am sorry for myself because I feel he didn’t give me a chance.

Maybe he doesn’t feel the same. Or he’s just scared to tell me what’s really going on.

 

I wish he would talk to me soon because there are some things left unsaid.

I hope he misses me the way that I do.

Talk to me, I’ll be waiting. 😦

I will never tell you how good it felt to see you. I never cared if it was minutes or hours, I found myself just wanting to be with you. Whenever we were together, there was a palpable chemistry between us. I wonder if you felt it too, or if it was only me. I liked the way you didn’t care who was around; you seemed to always want your hands on me. That was new. You were the first guy to openly show me affection. Mentally, I tried to keep you at a distance, even though I knew I wasn’t afraid so much of you as I was of my own feelings. I was trying to not have any, and didn’t know how you felt either. I was skeptical of what you wanted from me, but feared asking would ruin whatever this was becoming.

To be clear, I was confused as to what this even was, which was both thrilling and maddening. It turned into a frustrating struggle, between wanting to see you, and trying to protect myself. In the end, you won. You made me smile and laugh more than I had in the longest time. Yes, I was nervous and scared and skeptical, but beneath that was happiness like I’d never felt before. This was fun. You were fun. That may be difficult for you to understand, how my happiness could be buried under all those other emotions, but it was, and you started to get through to it. I only hope that you realize you did.

 

 

Sometimes To Find Happiness, You Just Need To Feel A Little Sad

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Sometimes To Find Happiness, You Just Need To Feel A Little Sad

Thought Catalog

There’s no formula for happiness. You can’t just follow certain rules to achieve it. Because you have to understand, happiness isn’t constant. In fact, nothing in the world is constant. We are always changing. I think we have both experienced times in our lives where everything was going exactly as planned, then the next second, everything fell apart. But we never seem to realize that even when things go horribly wrong, things start to lighten up. Life is a beautiful cycle. You know what they say: without experiencing the lows, we would never feel the high. 

The struggle that we have is overlooking all the negativity in our lives. And that in itself is what keeps us from being positive. We always dwell on how things are so horrible. We complain, and complain, and complain. Maybe the first step is to take a breath and recognize that things may feel…

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I will never tell you how good it felt to see you. I never cared if it was minutes or hours, I found myself just wanting to be with you. Whenever we were together, there was a palpable chemistry between us. I wonder if you felt it too, or if it was only me. I liked the way you didn’t care who was around; you seemed to always want your hands on me. That was new. You were the first guy to openly show me affection. Mentally, I tried to keep you at a distance, even though I knew I wasn’t afraid so much of you as I was of my own feelings. I was trying to not have any, and didn’t know how you felt either. I was skeptical of what you wanted from me, but feared asking would ruin whatever this was becoming.

To be clear, I was confused as to what this even was, which was both thrilling and maddening. It turned into a frustrating struggle, between wanting to see you, and trying to protect myself. In the end, you won. You made me smile and laugh more than I had in the longest time. Yes, I was nervous and scared and skeptical, but beneath that was happiness like I’d never felt before. This was fun. You were fun. That may be difficult for you to understand, how my happiness could be buried under all those other emotions, but it was, and you started to get through to it. I only hope that you realize you did.

FEELS 😥

I will never te…